the problem with waiting for the future.

driving home

...

and how my perceptions were tuned to identify memories unremembered..

words (and sounds) that enhance:

• autumn (the whispers of falling leaves)
  
• any word narrated by the piano. (especially those spoken in crescendo and fermata)
  
• the words(and laughs) cried from crashing waves. 
  
• any words whispered by trees (ones i've heard: fly. takeitin. yes. no. trust. speak. cry. dance. sing. love. love. love.)
  
• the words(sighs|prays|yearns|wishes) that float upward in silence in Shrines.
  

...

finding titles for the sections in my brain i've somehow gathered, organized and built over the last 3 years..

titles i would use if i needed to entitle something:

• The Life of The June Bug
  
• Ivy Crawl|Brick Wall
  
• The Profundity of Snow
  
• Take It and Fly
  
• What It Means To Be An Only
  
• Taking It In: And Other How-tos
  
• What Happened When I Abused Sleep
  
• Spilling Beans
  
• And Then There Was Now
  
• Learning What it Means to be (this) Human

...

things that ease the shakes or why breathing becomes easy..

a (short) list of things that make me so happy:

. when things begin with "and"

. korean bbq

. last night when i played the piano with the lights out.

. words!

. thesaurus

. revelations.

. museums.

...

the problem with waiting for the future..

so i realized something very important today.

a revelation i suppose.

if i wait for the future to happen it never will. because when it gets here i will be waiting for something else. in the future. so, what i would be waiting for i would never experience. so, now is very important. etc. etc. etc. does this make sense? it makes so much sense to me.

...

things i might ask..

choosing to live inside art:

Something by Rodin. maybe a dancer by Degas. or a birch in Klimt's Birch forest. or! a girl in Renoir's Two Girls at the Piano...

where i'd go first if i could fly:

A cloud. i'd love to see the birth of rain.

(where i'd go second:

as close to stars as i can get. maybe even further.

 where i'd go third:

next to birds. "how do you make the most of this power?"

Say anything.

for the first time in my life i am accepting these shoes.

when i can feel the draw of time:

too often.

what soothes it:

dreams. words. faces. and arms. Faith. Tablets.

...

why breathing becomes easy..

things that give me hope:

. seeing people in museums.

. that the stars come out at night.

. words.

. your existence.

. that this ends and whatever is next blows this out of the water.

. the finger print i found in the Getty.

. Eternal Sunshine.

. Joy.

. faces.

. arms.

. might: power and possibility

....

to: ava because i've never had such an incredible time at a museum. "you:GOYA! me:what?! you:GOYA! me:what? you:Goya! they have GOYA!

me:GOYA?!"