how the Butterflies in 10,000 stomachs flew Together.

if i were to try to describe this evening i would be unable to find words remotely accurate.

think: Unreal. Phenomenal. True. Unbelievable. Moving. Majestic. Perfect. Priceless: but all these are inaccurate.

Tonight. i was in the presence of greatness.

To think of how i got here. to think of how someones music could bring me here. is to truly believe i have a soul. because something surely is ascending.

.

Getting Here.

the wait was unreal. imagine waiting for something you are so unbelievably excited to witness. and then as it nears, your anticipation increases to the point where you don't even want this Thing to happen because its beginning would only precede its end. and the thought of that is heartbreaking.

As the show started I became more accepting of the fact that this would end. for a few reasons: i couldn't wait to see how i would feel after this. i was ready for something to knock me off my feet. i was in need of something to pick me up and cradle me and this music does it best.

i won't describe every moment of the concert to you but i will offer this.

things i experienced/realized/felt/witnessed/cried about/miracles:

• i gained an official set list from a random security guard. (fulfilling half of g's daydream)
• chris noticed all of us singing along on Lost and when he heard us he stopped everything and sighed. he said, 'that was so fulfilling can we please do that again?" they backed it up and we all sang together again. AHHH
• he forgot his lyrics twice. it was real and human and beautiful and i loved him even more.
• they ran up to the nose bleed section to sing yellow. all of them. together. drums. guitar. tambourine. and vocals. as tears streamed we noticed the two grown men on each side of us crying too. it was arresting. this is why they are amazing. who has ever done this?!
• i felt completeness.
• in regards to tonight's audience: chris says, "now i'm going to tell you guys something we really mean, sincerely, but i'm going to say it in a the language of starbucks so i hope that it doesn't diminish in significance. guy was explaining to me the difference between tonight's and last night's audience and why he thinks this one is better and he says 'i think last night's audience was a grande, and tonight's is definitely a venti." AMAZING
• they have their first encore and i'm thinking this couldn't get any better.
• and then it did.
• the butterflies that were undoubtedly flying in all of our stomachs somehow flew out and the entire stadium was filled with glowing butterflies. magic.
• they finished their (first) encore and i had to get to the front. so i walk up to the section in front of ours and ask the guard, "can i pick up those butterflies?" he allows. then g comes to join and i start to beg and plead "can we please go to the front? you have no idea how big of a fan i am?! please they are my favorite! i love them so much!" he replies, "you can stay here." pointing to where i'm standing. g tells me to stop asking him. and as he turns around to answer someones questions g grabs my arm and we run to the front. 
• we are standing SO close to them. SO CLOSE! and they are playing my favorite song off the new album, Death and All His Friends.
• at first i can't stop smiling. my cheeks are in so much pain. i haven't smiled like this in a very long time. g later informed that the man standing next to me looked over at me and as a result smiled. that's how big my smile was. how wide my eyes were. how enchanted my heart was. all of a sudden tears were streaming down my face and i was shaking. i have dreamed of being this close to them for so long. i had doubted if they were real until now. incredible does exist.
• to be amidst 10, 000 people at to all feel the same thing and to all cry and scream and sing together is a taste of unity. and that's what happened tonight. and there was no better soundtrack to experience this to. 

(you may be reading this and think "its just Coldplay. its just a band. its just a concert. its just music." but. no. it isn't. its SO much more. and i hope that someday you will experience what i have just felt and still feel.)

"no i don't want a battle from beginning to end

i don't want a cycle of recycled revenge

i don't want to follow Death and all of his friends"

-Coldplay