Letter to Someone i wish i had known better...

Dear,

my headaches:

with each throb breaks off a piece of my brain or skull or both. and i can feel it disintegrate and enter my blood stream. in reaching my blood stream, my entirety aches. and trying to sleep only magnifies the pain. i should wake up my mom because she could stroke my pain a way with her palms on my forehead (the only channel through which i could sleep as a child).

closing my eyes only creates tears. and suddenly all i can think about is december 31, january 1, 3, 5 and 7 - the all-encompassing pain and numbness that rivals the feelings of pure elatedness, comfort and sureness i had felt those same 5 days exactly the year before at exactly the same place (is shocking). a sort of dismal and blue full circle.

"please visit."

please visit me. please visit me and 

distance. effort. my relentless questions. part of me(hope) left when you said you had to go. 9 o'clock! new year's eve! you were so distant and i tried so hard to keep you their with us in the dark with the quesadillas, the candles and my questions. 

news. i assume the 3rd is when it happened. and the 7th is when you helped it snow. and more importantly, connected hearts.

.....................................

life is short but the days pass slowly

thank You and thank You.

i'm sure You planned it ever so.

with the tow of days

we are given the chance to learn, discover, change, grow, improve and then some.

And the brevity of life

 - a Gift.