Clouds: 3 states|places|loci

Clouds: 3 states|places|loci

1

its where you begin. its always warm there. endless supply of blankets. someone always putting tea on the stove always someone to offer me tea from the stove. you have someone to sing you to sleep at night. always. and hands to rub your temples when your head needs restraining. muffling.

and there are corners that you'll never have to acquaint yourself with. corners are like open arms. at times. people to be with. people to be loud with. people to be silent with. people to be with. its always warm there, until its cold

2

when you arrive you can't stop smiling. its not warm and its not cold. you don't pay attention to temperature. because the novelty conquers all senses. you can't feel anything but excitement. even your presumptions dissipate. but then

but then. the clouds emerge. and you recall the places you've been. clouds i have sat on. and you miss. you screen memories more than you take in the present. so you do small things to satisfy.gratify what you miss. like: sitting in the poetry section of the library so you can be surrounded by Greats. watching the movie that changed your everything. flowers. sticking out your tongue in the rain. (or how tomorrow i'm probably going to drive 17 miles all the way to Vacaville because there's a See's Candy Shop that sells dark chocolate covered gingers that make everything better.) or you're up at 1:31 am and you think, well i should just stay up, because that would be something new...

things i've never done/also:things i've always wanted to do

1. do my laundry at a laundromat
2. stand in the rain until i'm not a spot dry
3. legitimately climb a tree

but there's sun. behind the clouds. the rays reach you in the form of people. the someone who sent you the letter you never imagined you'd receive. the someone who makes you want to be a better person. the someone who when you look at them|hear them|think of them you feel hope because them being in the world makes everything better. the someone who knows what to say and when to say it and also when to say nothing. the someone who shares their shoulders. the sun is warm. and now feels welcome.

and 2 is: watching my life without me at 1:00 am, knowing it makes you cry. knowing you shouldn't because once you start it you can't stop it. but doing it anyway because a) you can, b) you want to, c) you need to. and going to library and checking out Harry Potter #5 because you feel like you owe it to someone to read it even though you saw the movie first, something you still feel guilty about. and mixed cds because they are solutions to most every problem. and going to the park in the middle of the night with your best friend. and grocery shopping at 12 am on a friday night because its amazing.

3

(i don't know. but whatever it is, it lies ahead.)