Tuesday, May 5, 2009

things that i forgot

or lost, or chose to neglect, or ignored, or never really knew at all 


the way shadow dances with light
4 am - 5 am
silence
a steady heart beat
before
wonder
one woman adventures
grass twitching in the wind
playing music to just dance
mama's embraces
daddy's healing hands
happy dreams
calm

but despite the loss, i have hope in the gain.
and forward is always brighter

Thursday, April 30, 2009

just a thought

everything is from now on.
there is an exit from this cabin
and it lifts.

boxes are meant for storage
for later
but for now everything - 
everything is from now on
everything is from now
on
and on

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

to put a smile on my face

-when my mommy calls me "ally" but in emails spells it "ali" like i'm an old persian man, it makes me tremendously happy :)
-art history. art history. art history.
-i felt more capable at life today than i have in too long.
-madeleines and lattes
-coldplay. specifically Prospekt's March. more specifically Glass of Water. even more specifically at 1:04 until the end. i fly.
-a smooth serene and steady heartbeat. my heartbeat feels like a rave lately
-the sky. here in davis, the sky is much bigger than in LA.
-Davis' 9th Day of Ridvan celebration in Central Park
-also, when sammy jumped on my back for a piggy back ride. actually i AM a jungle gym :)
-tomorrow i'm going swimming
-in the last 2 years i've had the greatest history professors. Ling, Schwyzer and now Dickinson.
-J. M. W. Turner
- Bernini
- walking fast
-the roses right outside of the art building. every monday and wednesday, i stop and smell the roses.
-chicago
-the House of Worship in Wilmette, IL
-BBQ

:)

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

thoughts on progress: where did you come from? where did you go?

thoughts on progress.
lets jump in, shall we?

the beatles equal progress. take from their first albums songs like "love me do", "a hard day's night", "help!'. all possessing qualities of upbeatedness and pop. then we have what i like to think of as their middle albums, where we have songs like "norwegian wood", "blackbird", "lucy in the sky with diamonds", "in my life" where, to me, their sound is less pop-y and more folk rock inspired. then in their late albums we have songs like "back in the ussr", "happiness is a warm gun"  "come together", "you never give me your money" (and proceeding medley), "i want you (shes so heavy)" where the band had been inspired by transcendental spirituality and the lyrics took on a more hard-edge form. progress.
same thing with radiohead. we have pablo honey with its garageband feel. we can skip to ok computer. what can i even say. other than choose a ladder to climb up.... because i ascend... karma police - when he says "phew.... for a minute there i lost myself..." its just perfect. then we have kid a tiny electronic symphonies. it sounds like soaring. and hail to the thief where i just want to rock.out. and then there's my favorite: in rainbows. the title kind of sets you up. because the album is nothing short of magical. and i actually feel my heart enlarging.
the point is, the beatles and radiohead and many others - writers, musicians, artists (kandinsky and picasso?!), filmmakers, they progress but the good ones, the ones who blow you away, they remain themselves. the beatles were always the beatles despite their forward moving transformation. and kandinsky was always kandinsky - from fauvism to lines and points and planes and the circle. to progress but to improve but to remain, as in to carry on; to continue to exist, to live on, to prevail, to survive but always, always forward.

and suddenly progress becomes synonymous with improvement.
each tomorrow has the potential to be better than it's yesterday.
and if tomorrow holds potential for greatness in its hands, then it shall be released for flight. and greatness shall soar.

  in my hands
i hold
  tomorrow
  holds greatness.

it comes to me in sounds. planes propelling through 
the atmosphere and their fading vapor trails.
footsteps on crushed bricks makes sounds like 
crashing waves against prison gates.
silent tears and caged wails. don't let them out
- otherwise they're real.
and the sound of redwood Trees 
passing down means of life and growth
from the leaflets floating in the sky 
down to the roots hurrying towards the Centre.
the tuning of a guitar - a lullaby kept secret.
its the sound of consciousness and 
thoughtfulness. attentiveness to others.
properly rearranging puzzle pieces.
its finding C-F-E-A after a protracted period of C-B-D and 
not being able to get that "song" out of my "head".
that soul out of my heart.




i don't know,
it doesn't even make sense in here.
and yet it does

Thursday, April 9, 2009

the sound of a day

somedays sound like a mogwai song. slow and with a cadence that throbs like a leaky faucet.
these days are often accompanied by heavy grey clouds. they patch the horizonless sky.

but grey clouds have silver linings.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

particles.

things: i've heard. i've found. i've learned. i've read. i've been told. i see. i believe

often what we consider to be human nature, is truly human habit

there is a solution to every problem

"ye were created to show love on to another."

change is inevitable. so accept it well.

with effort, will, desire, perseverance, trust, faith, and Assistance - anything is possible.

music is a ladder for the soul.

kindness is contagious

so are colds.

seek that which adds value to your life.

to be true to oneself may be going against the current, but at least its true.

"i am but a tiny seed"

...

soo much more....

what do you believe?

a