just a thought

everything is from now on.

there is an exit from this cabin

and it lifts.

boxes are meant for storage

for later

but for now everything - 

everything is from now on

everything is from now

on

and on

to put a smile on my face

-when my mommy calls me "ally" but in emails spells it "ali" like i'm an old persian man, it makes me tremendously happy :)

-art history. art history. art history.

-i felt more capable at life today than i have in too long.

-madeleines and lattes

-coldplay. specifically Prospekt's March. more specifically Glass of Water. even more specifically at 1:04 until the end. i fly.

-a smooth serene and steady heartbeat. my heartbeat feels like a rave lately

-the sky. here in davis, the sky is much bigger than in LA.

-Davis' 9th Day of Ridvan celebration in Central Park

-also, when sammy jumped on my back for a piggy back ride. actually i AM a jungle gym :)

-tomorrow i'm going swimming

-in the last 2 years i've had the greatest history professors. Ling, Schwyzer and now Dickinson.

-J. M. W. Turner

- Bernini

- walking fast

-the roses right outside of the art building. every monday and wednesday, i stop and smell the roses.

-chicago

-the House of Worship in Wilmette, IL

-BBQ

:)

thoughts on progress: where did you come from? where did you go?

thoughts on progress.

lets jump in, shall we?

the beatles equal progress. take from their first albums songs like "love me do", "a hard day's night", "help!'. all possessing qualities of upbeatedness and pop. then we have what i like to think of as their middle albums, where we have songs like "norwegian wood", "blackbird", "lucy in the sky with diamonds", "in my life" where, to me, their sound is less pop-y and more folk rock inspired. then in their late albums we have songs like "back in the ussr", "happiness is a warm gun"  "come together", "you never give me your money" (and proceeding medley), "i want you (shes so heavy)" where the band had been inspired by transcendental spirituality and the lyrics took on a more hard-edge form. progress.

same thing with radiohead. we have pablo honey with its garageband feel. we can skip to ok computer. what can i even say. other than choose a ladder to climb up.... because i ascend... karma police - when he says "phew.... for a minute there i lost myself..." its just perfect. then we have kid a tiny electronic symphonies. it sounds like soaring. and hail to the thief where i just want to rock.out. and then there's my favorite: in rainbows. the title kind of sets you up. because the album is nothing short of magical. and i actually feel my heart enlarging.

the point is, the beatles and radiohead and many others - writers, musicians, artists (kandinsky and picasso?!), filmmakers, they progress but the good ones, the ones who blow you away, they remain themselves. the beatles were always the beatles despite their forward moving transformation. and kandinsky was always kandinsky - from fauvism to lines and points and planes and the circle. to progress but to improve but to remain, as in to carry on; to continue to exist, to live on, to prevail, to survive but always, always forward.

and suddenly progress becomes synonymous with improvement.

each tomorrow has the potential to be better than it's yesterday.

and if tomorrow holds potential for greatness in its hands, then it shall be released for flight. and greatness shall soar.

  in my hands

i hold

  tomorrow

  holds greatness.

it comes to me in sounds. planes propelling through 

the atmosphere and their fading vapor trails.

footsteps on crushed bricks makes sounds like 

crashing waves against prison gates.

silent tears and caged wails. don't let them out

- otherwise they're real.

and the sound of redwood Trees 

passing down means of life and growth

from the leaflets floating in the sky 

down to the roots hurrying towards the Centre.

the tuning of a guitar - a lullaby kept secret.

its the sound of consciousness and 

thoughtfulness. attentiveness to others.

properly rearranging puzzle pieces.

its finding C-F-E-A after a protracted period of C-B-D and 

not being able to get that "song" out of my "head".

that soul out of my heart.

i don't know,

it doesn't even make sense in here.

and yet it does

the sound of a day

somedays sound like a mogwai song. slow and with a cadence that throbs like a leaky faucet.

these days are often accompanied by heavy grey clouds. they patch the horizonless sky.

but grey clouds have silver linings.

yes.

exactly.

particles.

things: i've heard. i've found. i've learned. i've read. i've been told. i see. i believe

often what we consider to be human nature, is truly human habit

there is a solution to every problem

"ye were created to show love on to another."

change is inevitable. so accept it well.

with effort, will, desire, perseverance, trust, faith, and Assistance - anything is possible.

music is a ladder for the soul.

kindness is contagious

so are colds.

seek that which adds value to your life.

to be true to oneself may be going against the current, but at least its true.

"i am but a tiny seed"

...

soo much more....

what do you believe?

a

It Flows: stream of consciousness no.1

its Spring.

The Earth looks.smells.feels.sounds new. 

its Spring and I too am fresh and verdant.

today I felt like a Phoenix. today I am a Phoenix. 

After all the fire that I regrettably started in my own personal world, I feel anew. the fire causes regermination. so i guess i'm also a redwood. (makes fist, extends arm, pulls it back and whispers "yes!")

songs that enhance this moment of newness:

glassworks: opening by philip glass

martha my dear by the beatles

four fingered fisherman by modest mouse performed by sun kil moon

black and gold by sam sparro

montanita by ratatat

things i do that i won't stop doing and its ok because they're healthy obsessions if there is such a thing...

harmonizing. i cant stop wont stop

examine trees. it puts me at such ease. i can't explain

purchase books. i wish for shelves of books to replace all my walls

first day of spring quarter:

i walked into my art history class, half expecting i'd drop it. no way man. its incredible. we learned all about The Stonehenge today. uh-mazing. i left smiling. i left wanting to talk to people.

has that ever happened to you?

it happens to me often. i gain the strong urge to just tell you something (the collective yous).

...