its all there.

i've got lots on my mind.

like -

• faces - so many i don't know. and yet deeply, inside of me, i feel like i do.
  
• a story of 'Abdu'l-Baha. A man in Akka hated 'Abdu'l-Baha so deeply that he couldn't even look him in the face. One day the man was forced to encounter the Master (a title given to 'Abdu'l-Baha) because they were in a very narrow passageway. The man tried hard not to look at him, but the Master put his hand on the man's shoulder and said that despite how much hate the man has for him, it will never be as strong as the love 'Abdu'l-Baha has for him.
• talking to strangers is by far one of the greatest things that has happened and will ever happen to me. it is in those moments that i feel most human.
• i feel very eager right now.
• i hummed along with the tuning of a guitar the other night, it was funny.
• i haven't dreamt in a long time. i miss it. i think its this bed. its not suited for dreaming.
• remembering, "never comfortable, always satisfied."
• this year has been fleeting. i don't think i've ever felt this way about a year. it really feels like just yesterday. i vividly remember what i was doing last year.... and january. and one year is almost here....
• i'm really feeling the brevity of life.
• and this is not to be misunderstood as woeful. because i find this oddly beautiful. i've said it before, the brevity of life is a gift in my eyes. for a few reasons. one. because this is a hard hard world. its harsh and it can get ugly and painful. and two. (also more importantly) this is a beautiful and rich world. and the fleetness and brevity force us to pay closer attention to the beauty. we have a short amount of time to appreciate the world's many gems. so let's begin shall we?
• life is a collection of chapters. there's no need to dwell on past chapters. they got you to where you are, and where you are is where you're supposed to be. because whether its "good" or "bad" every tomorrow has the potential to be greater than it's yesterday...

i'm in a happy place :)

love.

p.s. check out my mix!

track 1 - a new fave.

track 2 - this song is so beautiful. just wait until you get to the trumpets! one of the best endings ever too. (aprox. 2:55 minutes in.)

track 3 - this song is how i love to feel. "there are no bad words for the coast today."

track 4 - g.r.o.o.v.y.

track 5 - this song is great. it has this quality of makesmewannadance yet also ohsopensiveandmelancholy... sigh.

track 6 - probably my favorite song ever. i love the lyrics. "out of all those kinds of people, you got a face with a view..."

track 7 - this song makes me SO happy its ridiculous! i went dancing last night with some friends and they actually played this song. i basically took over the dance floor. it felt necessary.

enjoy!

thoughts at a time when i shouldn't be thinking

thoughts at a time when i shouldn't be thinking...

| when does property and territory even become a matter of importance when human life is involved?!  world, get your priorities straight...

| put a wall around a man and he'll instantly want out, while before he was unaware, indifferent...

| "if you give a mouse a cookie, he's going to want a glass of milk..."

| a blessing: to have people in your life that you can tell anything to, that you can hear anything from. comfort in silence. joy in expression. stomach aches from laughing so hard. muscular cheeks from smiling so much...

| what i find myself identifying with...

| how i got here

....

things that compose my reality en ce moment.

we have autumn here... davis, november 2008

...

| i don't understand html and would like someone to carefully explain it to me. because no matter how many times i've tried to <> everything it never seems to work.

| i've made a survival mix to help me survive this week. finals = très difficile.

Survival:

a kick in the teeth - fischerspooner

is this love? - clap your hands say yeah

a forest (the cure) - nouvelle vague

sweet and tender hooligan (the smiths) - nouvelle vague

is it really so strange? - the smiths

shiver - coldplay

a warning sign - coldplay

gold soundz - pavement

for the price of a cup of tea - belle & sebastian

montanita - ratatat

gettysburg - ratatat

stay where you are - ambulance ltd

her hairagami set - the brunettes

exit does not exist (modest mouse) - sun kil moon

four fingered fisherman (modest mouse) - sun kil moon

your protector - fleet foxes

between the bars - elliott smith

passing beauty - kelsey bulkin

keep breathing - ingrid michaelson

backyards - broken social scene

| it feels like i'm trying to digest my heart therefore my stomach feels like its sinking. i haven't experienced said feeling in a long time. it would have been nice if it stayed that way. owwy.

| tomorrow is my philosophy exam. ughhhh. this class is a pain and a half. i'm just thankful the professor is so wonderful. its too bad the subject matter is so frustrating.

| its cold. and i like the cold. but its just cold.

| i wish i was handing sandwiches out...

| i miss going to museums.

| yesterday i slid across the room on my knees like an 80's hair metal rock star and it felt good. realllllly good.

| sighhhhhh...

sigh.

its always when i have the most to do that i try to do everything else.

does that make sense even? i have a french oral exam tomorrow. translate: i will be saying a plethora of prayers en français ce soir.

anyways.

when i was in China in 2005 i was sitting outside of shopping center waiting for the rest of the group and there were these adorable children playing near me. i decided to capture a few photos and when they noticed they ran over to me and demanded a photo shoot.

here's one that i love....

listen:

four fingered fisherman - sun kil moon

what It is...

it's the fact that i am brought to tears, short breaths, smiles and ascension when i hear music.

it's their paths. because i am dependent on them.

it's Your Message. because it is my air and my blood.

it's the moments between the lights turned out and the eyelids shut.

it's why it was different this time.

it's seeing the end in things.

it's a redwood forest.

it's a blanket, a couch, a movie and a friend.

it's the photographs in my prayerbook.

it's January 2008. what was taken, what was given, what was realized.

it's grandpa's hands.

it's the tuning of your guitar that takes me to a screening of memories.

it's the dreams i dreamt in Haifa. my closed eyes gazing on the Queen of Carmel.

it's meeting someone, and having your initial impressions blown away.

it's tears shed in amazement.

it's everydays.

it's looking up under trees.

it's walking through museums.

it's having my soul sewn to theirs.

it's a letter to a friend.

it's riding my bicycle at 3 a.m.

it's knowing who "me" is.

it's what i discover in being silent.

it's harmonizing to everything.

it's everything i think about on the car rides home.

it's in davis.

it's where i came from, and where i went, where i am now, and where i'll go.

thank you!

things i am thankful for:

my parents -(right now they're complimenting each other on the different dishes they've prepared for the meal... i love them!)

their personal paths in life - because if they didn't tread those paths, and didn't arrive at those specific destinations, i wouldn't be here.... and i really enjoy being here.

God - because really all of this is because of Him. and look at how incredible it is!

my friends - you give new meaning to the word friend. the value each of you add to my life is immeasurable. you know who you are. thank you thank you thank you.

my life - i wasn't always aware but i'm so happy with where i've arrived.

the future - you aren't so far away and i look forward to keep on meeting you!

trees

my eyesight

my hearing

my hands

my feet

my education

rain

bicycles

UC Davis

NABI

the snow

my roommate

food

blessings

Prayers & Meditations

WA

grandparents

Yueyang, China

airplanes

music

pianos

stars

galaxies far far away

balloons

sooo much more...

happy thanksgiving!

love love love